Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
