is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
