ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
