The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
