When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
