This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize