Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
My liver just had a heart attack.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
