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I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
