Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
