omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
