I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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