I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
