absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
