we have pet lesbian snakes
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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