I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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