Dual....:-)
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
