Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
