Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
