That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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