im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
