Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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