There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
