coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
