I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
