then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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