i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
