That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
