Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
