so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
