He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Drunk is not a location!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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