You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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