DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
