The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
