Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
