He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
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