but the lizard people decide everything anyway
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
