now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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