If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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