I'm sorry my penis didn't work
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
so let's talk penis.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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