used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
