i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
