I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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