Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
