i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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