I think I am morally bankrupt
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
