Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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