Heybabeimwearingurpanties
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
