Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
