I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
