I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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